Muhammad Fazli's

Trying to sleep but can't sleep. Really have no idea on what to do. Been laying down turning and turning around. Anyway, I really had so much things to think about. First, my family. Well, I don't know why but each time I exchanged messages with papa somehow, my tears always roll down my cheeks. His words are so touching when he always say "Take good care of yourself, love and miss you so much". Maybe, to you people that's just normal phrase from your parents but mine is different. I'm not staying with my dad and that's why.
I'm staying with my mom and brother but I'm seldom home. I'm always at baby's place. Reasons change as time past by. In the past, it was because I was still schooling so going to school from baby's place is much more easier because we get to go out together in the morning so I won't be so lazy to go to school. Hahhhs! Then, it was because I'm working at woodlands checkpoint and that's when I'm still staying at yishun, I thought that its easier for me to go to work from baby's house cause he stayed in woodlands. And after I moved to woodlands, I actually started to go home almost everyday because work is nearer to my house already. But I quited work a month later. So, I was jobless at that point of time. Sitting at home was bored you know but I don't know why when I'm at baby's place, I won't be that bored even though I'm alone at his home. Hahhhhhs! Then I started helping mama at her canteen starting last January. So yes, I was always home everyday because I just have to meet baby and pass him foods that mama packed for him. Now is march and you know what? I'm starting my habit of not going back home again. And the reason is quite different compared to the one's stated about.

Papa wrote on my wall at facebook saying that he heard that I'm not always home again and in the message, he asked for my number too because I kept changing numbers so he don't know which one to contact. So yea, I SMS-ed him. Saying everything out of my heart. "Papa, its not that I don't wanna go home often but I don't feel comfortable when I'm at home now. Sometimes I feel bored because I have nothing to do. My laptop is already broken and the surroundings is just so different now compared to last time. I wish to talk about this to mama but things won't work out well because eventually it will become a problem as me and mama always can't accept each other's thought. If abang, I'm not used to sharing any problems with him because I'm afraid that I might disrespect him. I don't want that to happen because I've never been rude to him. I wanna tell you that I actually planned to get engage with my current boyfriend on July this year. I told mama and I think she told abang too. But I feel like I don't have any family support on that. Somehow, I felt disappointed. They think that I'm still a small kid to think about that but deep down in me, I'm serious about it. I don't wish to talk to you about this afraid that you might think like what they thought too but I have to because I want you to know the actual reason why I'm not always home". And many many more people!! Haha! I'm just so lazy to type it all up here because I sent him a freaking 10 pages in 1 message. But a few minutes later, he replied me asking whether we can have a meet up so that we can talk through things. Just me, my dad and baby. So yea, I'm gonna meet him soon and I wonder what we'll talk about. Hehhhhs!

Then, another problem is that, I fucking need a god damn job as soon as possible! Like seriously lor! Gonna call up some workplace later in the morning and I hope get what I want. Insya-Allah. Pray hard for me.

Been so stressed up lately and I think its bad for my health. Maybe I should not be thinking about it too much and just calm myself down, relax and go with the flow. Yeap! I'll try my very best.

So my daily updates yeah? Hmmmm. Last Saturday night, I just went to takashimaya to hang out with baby's friends as its been a long long time since they last met. After the meet ups, me and baby went straight home after sending the rest to O'bar. Thought of joining them but leceyyy ar nk park lorry pat mane seyyy because baby wants to drink. So I suggest we go home and rest as baby already worked so hardthe past few days. He agreed and yeaa, we reached home and spent our time together and watched DVDs. Hehe!

Its almost 6am not and baby just woke up. Shall make him hot chocolate now. Got to go! Bye loveliessss!